Pass the Parcel...

Have any of you suffered from panic attacks when playing childish games (e.g.: pass the parcel) that requires the loser to do some sort of lame forfeit if the parcel lands on your lap when the music stops? (*Flashback -Kindergarten days-musical chairs*)

Being the typical responsible young adult, I decided to sit out due to my medical conditions as I knew that my heart would not be able to take such anxiety and stress. I also did not want to deprive another guy a chance to play oh such an exciting and full of suspense game. My plan didn’t work out as planned. Our OC passed down an order that everyone had to participate or not we would have to sign ‘extra’ for disobeying.

There wasn’t much of a choice; it was an order. In the army, we are trained to function as a robotic, brainless human mechanism that nods our head in approval when there is an order, so it doesn’t really matter. We have lost all our human rights the day we shaved our head bald.

I was perspiring and breathing heavily, according to the beat of the music. Mentally, I picture myself strangling that stupid DJ playing the ridiculously loud blaring music damaging my already half-functioning ears. To make matters worse, I was in the ‘danger zone’, where everyone around me had already done their stupid forfeit. So it was a sooner or later thing. I was pretty lucky that the parcel never did land in my hands due to my quick reflexes and swift movements however my fellow lifeguard friend wasn’t as fortunate as me.

When the host read the forfeit, my heart almost dropped. Apparently the forfeit involved another person sitting right beside him. It was time to activate the ambulance! I only managed to resume my normal breathing patterns when the host read that the person on his left would have to do the forfeit together with him. I was really damn lucky that I was sitting on his right.

The host suggested that we think of a forfeit for them.My robotic friends (aka typical horny, hormone raging guys who have lost total contact with the female species for a period of time...) started chanting ‘KISS, KISS, KISS’… Mind you, this is the army, not gay club. After compromising with everyone, my fellow lifeguard friend had to do a ‘pole dance’ with another guy…how ridiculous and lame…I would have buried my face if I was him. I HATE TO BE IN EMBARASSING SITUATIONS.

Lesson Learnt: Take the much desired Medical Leave if your unit is planning another BBQ and get together, it would be worth the effort.

(PS: Congrats Leleohead, I knew you would get a very ‘exciting ‘job that requires you to travel the globe…you lucky half-human, half-creature… I believe you can do it, with your artistic and creative flare, not forgetting your really cool fashion sense; and your supernatural powers you are the perfect person for the job! Have more confidence in yourself ok?)