the joy of christmas.

I am on the top of the world this Christmas.

Let me explain why.

Firstly, I spent some really good quality time with my closest friends at my house party this year. These are people whom I really care and give a shit to.
It was great just bumming out with them.
The thought about Australia suddenly seem so sickening. I mean with such great friends around, I should be happy and contended here but I am not.

There is still so much to see and experience and I am sure God intended me to go overseas and this just feels so right.
I guess Australia will kinda open my eyes to the world around me and make me grow up in a sense…

I receive some really cool gifts this year.
The few gifts that I just simply had to tear open really surprised me.
The biggest surprise is from my most loved cousin and aunties whom I have to say are the most generous people on this planet earth.
I mean a freaking IPOD for my overseas studies next year, that’s like the most thoughtful thing ever.

Other interesting gifts included a ZARA jacket and sweater extremely stylish and comfortable; in fact it’s the coolest jacket in my wardrobe right now from my best buddy, Aldric.
A nice photo holder –from jie yi. A cool and stylish alarm clock which I find to be extremely practical for my aussie studies next year - eeling.
The ‘Sexiest boy in the world’ door tag- Meiling, $30 Isetan Voucher- Johnson.
Sinful and delightful dark Chocs – Christine and bf. Chocs – Xiang Ting.

I am still expecting a couple more gifts and have yet to open all my other gifts, but seriously its not the gifts that make Christmas so meaningful but its more of the spirit of giving and sharing that makes it so magical.
You can give me a packet of OREO biscuits and I would be happy because it’s the thought and the gesture that matters more than the content of the gift and I SERIOUSLY mean it.

Happy Boxing Day to all!

a minute before christmas!

I’m exhausted from all the shopping!

Orchard Road, City Hall, Raffles Place, Suntec City, Bugis Junction.
Esprit, Guess, Fcuk, Topman, G2000, Prada, Timberland, British India…..
Ig’s Heaven, Kalms, Life Bookshop, Toys’R’Us
MPH, Times, Kino, Popular…
Goldheart, Lee Hwa, Poh Heng, SKII, City chain.
Royce, Godiva,
NYDC, Coffeebean, Starbucks, Coffeeclub, Gelare, Swensens….

24 hours is not enough! And yet I still have time to bum out at NYDC for like ages just talking cock with Aldric and as usual making fun of people around us, typical law student’s lingo.
You can’t blame us; we feed on insults and jokes.

Its 12am on Christmas day and I have yet to wrap all my gifts and write all my cards.
I’m freaking tired and the party must continue tomorrow.

I’m so screwed!@$##$%^&

a new beginning.

Chapter 1

Today marks the end of a chapter in my life.
And the beginning of something new!
Saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do,

Exchanging familiarity for uncertainty is indeed challenging.
But sometimes we can only look forward to the good things ahead
And learn from the mistakes of the past
Indeed all is good.

I’m satisfied.

I did what I had to do; I said what has always been in my heart
.
.
.
.
I’m all ready to go.

Chapter 2

……..................

the time has finally come

4 more days to Christmas and I am freaking out….

I keep adding people onto my present’s list and as a result the list is not moving @ all. Bloody hell!@#$%
In any case, I have already decided on a contingency plan.
Don’t turn up for my own Christmas party!!!!!!

Not bad!

*********** *********************

I am going to ORD tomorrow, wahoo!
Freedom at last, no more IPPT, no more ‘leongster’ breathing down my neck….
I shall contain my joy for my suffering fellows back in camp
‘Hang on your turn will come.’

I’m tired

************ *********************

lazy sunday.

I just found out that I would be involved in the F&B portion for my bros wedding.

Depressing…

Considering the fact that I have yet to have a serious relationship and it would still be ages before I exchange any vows and I have a slight inkling that its never going to happen at least for my lifetime, but still F&B.

What the hell bro?
Am I supposed to cook? Serve? Or be the bunch of idiots that go around from table to table yelling ‘yam seng’ for the love of god?

Please, not the latter. I mean I know I am pretty loud and stuff but that ‘yam seng’ thing has got to pass. Thats usually the part where I will secretly bid my farewell to the bride and bridegroom. Its horrendous!

I cant figure why the Chinese still carry on this tradition. Why cant we change the words ‘yam seng’ to something more nicer sounding like ‘bottoms up’ or ‘free love’ or ‘Im gay’….
And apparently he got my favorite cousin to do the reception job which is so much easier and glamorous than mine.

Hey I am not going to fly down from Sydney to take this shit man? Perhaps he forgot that the best and most suitable job for me is just sitting down and eating the sumptuous dinner spread. Think about it.

My mum and dad would most probably disappear to the other tables entertaining the guests, my grandmas would follow suit, and my irritating younger cousins would be trying to search for Aslan to take them to the magical world of Narnia so technically no one would be at my table.


So why not I give my brother an incredibly sensible and intelligent suggestion to just station me at the table and just eat, I mean it would be a terrible waste not to touch such heavenly food and besides my parents have been hounding me to eat more so that will be a perfect opportunity.

*** *******************

Speaking of which, my parents are sending me for counseling.

They were really freaked out by the New Paper report on anorexia and the symptoms and they decided that I was suffering from the curse of the devil and I needed therapy.
My dad even offered me a free weekend buffet spread @ any hotels in Singapore of my choice. Am I that scrawny and thin?

My good friend Aldric said that it is a grand understatement to say that I am skinny. He says I am beyond skinny; I am bones and flesh. aldric you are not that sexy either! It’s a pity you haven’t met Moses lim. I simply cant understand how my body works.
When I was young, I was fat.
When I was a teenager, I was thin. After my BMT, I went back to being fat again. Now I am thin again.

I mutated four times and I suspect more of such irregular patterns are likely to reoccur. I am having food cramps now. Its not that I hate to eat, but I do feel that eating beyond ones capacity is gluttony and obviously that is a sin.

Or maybe I hate being all blotted and having to work off those extra calories. I am an exercise freak and I love to jog. I usually jog for at least 5 km and if that is so I don’t think I am feeding myself enough. Still I am trying to gain weight, so please just let me be!

*** ******************************* ***********

I attended a friend’s wedding today and she is still a wacky as ever. She wanted to have an all white wedding with a ‘white theme’.

The decoration, the lightning, the tablecloths, the wedding guest book, the flowers and every other thing…
and everything was just absolutely gorgeous in white. Until I spilt some curry gravy on her white table cloth.

Diah you now know who is the culprit! Its me and im sorry! I am not trying to sound mean and all but this is hilarious. No one actually noticed the curry stains until I spilt some curry stain on my own shirt and my friends than suspected that I was the curry spiller. Damn it happened twice. What rotten luck!

Her mum probably though that I was some sort of wacko that feeds on curry and would leave a trail of curry around to satisfy my obsession. So the wedding was great other than the above incident and when I finally met my good friend for after so long.

Her first reaction was to enunciate my name really slowly as we used to have a really big joke about my ridiculously not funny name.

She went something like’ ngggggggggggiapppppppppp tongggggggggggggggg’ and as usual decide to spread some joy and litter her jokes around.

She commented and told me not to hold her hand for too long than after when I slip her a green packet; she exclaimed very loudly she doesnt take brides. Crazy bitch return me my money haha but thats why I like her so freaking much because shes not normal but I must say that she look really good yesterday probably the afterglow of marriage.
Great time catching up with long lost friends.

********* ************************** ******

I spoke with my cousin just now and i am highly suspicious that my cousin got me a freaking ipod this Christmas but I shall not get my hopes too high and to be fucking honest, I dont know what to get for her. How about a years supply of Bens & Jerrys?
Or even better still durex? or the vibrating thing? oh its getting so messed up!

I am going to write my Christmas cards now…..

what a great day!

My morning sickness is killing me-what a great way to start this entry.
A cacophony of sounds welcomed me as I arise.
I am darn sure that my vacuum cleaner needs some sort of servicing.
I just cant understand my mums obsession with cleanliness.
Every morning, she will begin her mundane routine work starting off with mopping the floor ensuring that its spick and span.
Clean, clean, clean.

Thereafter she proceeds to vacuum the freakishly clean floor.
Vacuum, vacuum, vacuum.
She has absolutely no regard for anyone in the family esp. those who are sleeping @ 6 am in the morning and that certainly includes me and as a result wakes the whole family up from her intrusion into our rooms.
Wake,wake, wake.

She will proceed to wash the clothes and mind me; she washes the clothes with her hands despite having the choice of the much more convenient washing machine.
Wash, wash, wash.

After, she will tidy up the whole house and water the plants and look for other housework to do.
Tidy, tidy, tidy.
She will than decide to try her new recipe and more often than not whip up a less than fantastic meal and we being the guinea pigs have to savor her gourmet delights and any comments far short from a compliment will get us a reduction in allowance.

Eat, eat, eat.
Lie, lie, lie.

Than if shes still feeling awake from the caffeine in the morning, she will clean the house again. I really wonder whats going through her mind.
Clean, clean, clean/

She will bake for our neighbors and always volunteer to open up our home for high tea for the missus staying near my house.
Bake, bake, bake.
What a hackle!

. I honestly think that my mom is a perfect candidate for the desperate housewives. Wisteria lane should be her home. not pasir ris. I mean trying to get her to watch the show is never going to happen because she doesnt watch tv at all.
I mean all her free time is spent on housework and her actual work, and whenever I invite her to just relax and watch tv she would flip out and accuse me of being lazy and get me to run some errands for her. Are all mums like that? Heads up would be nice.

I am not saying I dont appreciate what she is doing, because I certainly do. My house is the next best thing to a hospital. But I guess she is overdoing it. And yeah she expects perfection in the household.
She wants us to be slaves to cleanliness.
I mean cleanliness is important and we should ensure that we make an effort to clean the house every now and than however we are not freaks. I mean cleaning the house 7 days a week; twice a day without any valid reasons is a serious indicator that you have a sickness.

None of the others want to talk to her probably because they know nothing good will come out of it, but I guess keeping silent is also never going to resolve the problem. I love my mum and I want her to be happy but I seriously think that working 24/7 in the house is never going to make anyone happy.
She will always grumble and sulk and complain when cleaning the house, she doesn’t like it at all. Why torture herself than?

I have talked to her numerous times to just relax, take time out and just breathe the fresh air and do all those lover stuff with dad like going for a nice meal, going to the movies, and just spend time out, relaxing and enjoying life.
But it usually turns on deaf ears and
She will most probably ignore me and than try to get into a discussion with dad on the possibility of cutting my allowance and implementing a curfew on me for being rude and disrespectful.

Apparently liberalism isnt in her dictionary. She is still stuck in the old school of thought where the young shouldnt tell their elders what to say and do and that the young should ALWAYS keep quiet and just follow instructions.
I am way beyond that.
I am not 12 anymore mum; even though I look young, I am pretty mature deep inside so dont talk to me like that.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh………

I know what to get for her this Christmas. Kama Sutra for the elderly. She needs it.

I am sure i wont live another day if that comes to past.

skeletons from the past.

Am I an immature prat who refuses to let go of the skeletons he stashes in his overflowing closet?

Hear me out.

*****************************

Secondary school days are supposed to bring back a lot of happy memories however mine wasn’t very memorable to begin with as I was always being picked on, being teased, being isolated, unpopular and often made fun of.
Back than I was a quiet and skinny and a little ‘soft’ kid who mostly studied 24/7 and kept mostly to himself so that others would not pick on me, however as it turns out the boys accused me of being a nazi-loving gay peep and the girls no doubt were nicer but probably also kept a distance away from me for the fear of being implicated in the ‘why are you friends with him’ shit.
I was like a leper in the middle temples that no one wanted to be friends with except for a couple of kind hearted souls who probably took pity on me or that moral crap to accept others as thyself. I hated being thrown into the pure science class which I totally couldn’t give a shit to.

I hated being reminded that I was the cream of the crop and the future of the school solely depended on our ‘almighty’ class. I disliked the fact that everyone was just mean to each other so that they can out perform each other. Outwit-outplay and outlast.
It was the rat race of the neighborhood school system. I mean the subjects I took were of no interest to me. I hated science and to make matters worse I was in the best class and I was underperforming.
Teachers loved to pick on me as I was always unprepared and lost in class discussions. Typical bait for the Predator, discover channel classics. As a result, I hated going to class and I hated myself for this predicament.
I lost my self, my dignity, my pride.
I was reduced to a non existent state in class and in school. And sadly in the world.

I felt miserable, alone and disliked.
I hated secondary school.
It was a complete disaster, to make matters worse I was in ECA which I completely detest and loathe but didn’t have the courage to quit. SJAB what a joke, I sometimes wish to reverse the clock and go back in time and quit SJAB and give them the ‘I can’t take another piece of your crap shit’.
I was undervalued and abused physically and emotionally from my perspective. I hated authority as much as control. I didn’t like the fact that I was a subordinate to someone whom I did not even have any remote respect for.
Maybe I was just a screwed up rebellious kid?
Maybe I was just going through a ‘phase’?
If only I knew back than…

Or was I just a queer kid who couldn’t integrate with the mainstream?
Why am I so different? I knew God intended and made us unique in a special way, but boy was I fucking different. That explains why I bear so much hurt and resentment to authorities and people.
That is why I felt so lonely and sometimes this loneliness causes me to want someone, to want something, to feel good about myself, to make all these fucking problems go away. Suicide did creep into my mind every now and than but I didn’t have the balls to do something as radical as that.

I was so alone, I mean I didn’t tell anyone about this not even my parents cause I didn’t want my parents to think that I am weird and of course I didn’t tell any of these to my classmates cause they already isolated me so why bear all of my feelings to them when they are just going to ‘abuse’ me even more.
Not even God I trust. I was absolutely alone.
Down in the murky pits.
They should just cordoned me off to the ‘losers’ group in school.
Why was I such a weirdo who can’t seem to be friends with anyone?
I don’t hate anyone, I don’t hate anything, I just don’t want to be associated with anything with my secondary school ever.

Things got slightly better when I was in the polytechnic.
I mean I made a couple of really close friends people that I truly like and care for and people who cherish and acknowledge me for who I am, became popular in class at least for having the courage to speak up without the fear of condemnation and ability to express my views, was in the faculty’s whos whos list, came out tops in my cohort,
I was finally someone.
I regained a lot of my confidence but the wounds from my past were not totally erased. There were times when I felt that I couldn’t relate to people and there were times when I felt that I couldn’t fully trust people and felt that it was better for me to be a loner and do things solely by myself.
I will sometimes get overly suspicious of people and think that they are snickering behind my back and laughing at me.
I couldn’t care less but I would be lying to say it didn’t hurt.

Now that I am doing decently well, I have no desire whatsoever to go back to the time where all the painful memories lie.
I mean what for torture myself and bring back all theses bad memories.
All of these have past and they can’t do any more damage to me unless I want myself to be held captive to these unpleasant thoughts. I have a chance to start anew and live life with absolute freedom so let it be than.
I want to be free from unkind people, unpleasant words of destruction and most importantly I want to be free from my past.
My past cant hurt me anymore than I want it to be, so I need to release all these anxieties and fears to God and let him handle it.
Most importantly, I must hang on and allow God to bring to completion the recovery work that he is doing inside me.

The past has already past. I can’t alter my past.
My past shape me and mould me to become the person I am today.
My past forms my identity. I can only look to the future and learn important life lessons from the past. I am not a loner.
I am no different from other kids.
I am intelligent and smart and kind and funny at least to my close friends.
I am popular because God intended for me to be popular and well liked.
I am everything that is reversal from secondary school because I know that is true.
I rebuke the lies of the evil one. I don’t dislike people from my past. I have already forgiven what they have done to me. I need to forgive people to move on with my life.

Think about it, why stall my life because some people said something nasty to me or do something terrible to me?
Why stall my life when I know that I have far more potential than what others make me out to be?
Why stall my life from the many blessings God has given to me?
If James Frey can turn his life upside down from snort and cocaine, meth, glue, alcohol, crack and fuck shit. I think I can do much better than him because my life is still repairable and I want it to be fu8cking working well because I still have damn much more to see, to do and to accomplish.
I am not calling it quits until I win the race and face my life’s greatest fear head on and tell my fears that I have conquered them.

When I met chee and tze today, I am honestly happy for them and what is going on in their lives. I am happy that they are doing well.
I am happy that they are in contact. I am happy that they are still friends.
I do wish that I can spend more time and be friends with them and I know that I will eventually come around to that, but I do sincerely want to be having pleasant and good memories about them even the other people in 407.

They are mostly pretty decent and nice people. I wish them the best. It’s just that back than I may be slightly narrowed minded @ who couldn’t let go of things people said. I took things way too much seriously than I should. So now I guess some people will finally know why I may appear to be so serious @ times but honestly I don’t want to feel that way.
No more ill feelings. I want to release them to God because I don’t want to be held bondage to it anymore.
Indeed a moment in freedom is better than a life forever in bondage. I can do this because I believe in a supreme being who loves me just the way I am. I believe in myself and I will and am still trying to believe in others.
With these ingredients of love, faith and patience, I will succeed.

I am sure I will succeed. If all else fail, I would just hold-on.

Because holding on is far better from falling down.

Because James held on.

Because I don’t want to let my love ones down.

Because God cares too much and he doesn’t want me destroyed and battered.

Because I fucking love myself so much that I don’t want to see myself emotionally torn again.

Because….

**this is really one of my true and heartfelt blog entry’s ever and I am not putting this out so that others can so fondly gossip and talk about but because I know there are tons of kids who are going through what I fucking went through and I want to set them free from this bondage and empower them and tell them they are not alone in this journey and that sometimes speaking up and fighting for oneself is the only justice you can do for yourself. That’s why I fell in love with law in the first place, because the law is supposed to be fair and just. Because the law is about protecting our fundamental rights as an individual. Because the law is an avenue for us to speak up and be heard and be judged according to the merits of our actions and nothing else. I swear to be nicer to the weird peeps in my camp and in society. They probably went through more shit than me. Indeed life goes on and I feel so completely @ ease now that the truth is out and no longer hidden from others. **

a million little pieces.

‘She told me that I was a Prisoner of my Mom and all of her problems and a Prisoner of my Dad who I don’t remember and she told me I was a Prisoner of drugs and sex and of myself.
She told me that living life as a Prisoner was a waste of life and that freedom, even a second of freedom, was worth more than a lifetime of bondage.’- James Frey ‘A million little pieces’

This interesting quote practically blew my mind away.

A minute of wisdom a life forever changed. I hate being all preachy and stuff but one lesson I took away from the book is that freedom can be free for all IF ONLY we know how to first cherish it.

things you will do for a free coffee.

i am this close to suing starbucks for emotional trauma and distress…
let me explain
i was queuing up last thursday for my free cuppa when an uncle right behind me literally screamed into my ears. apparently he was trying to ‘size up’ an old aunty a few spaces in front of me for queue hopping.

in case you start thinking dirty and stuff, his ‘sizing up’ involves a lot of gestures and brickbats being exchanged. scientific studies shown that continuous exposure to sound above 80 decibels could do harmful damage to one’s ears. i swear that is true.

i looked around, extremely annoyed that I had to subject myself to such torturous verbal abuse, looking for the culprit when my eyes landed on ‘it’ (and calling him that? giving way too much credit) in front of me. Slippers and a typical ‘fake’ Ralph Lauren shirt. This uncle is seriously doing too much damage to the brand. The too obvious pasar malam 3 for 10 dollars crap. I was not surprised that the uncle don’t even know how to pronounce the fucking brand. ‘…laugh lauren…’ I swear my kiddo cousins can get that right…

The 0.1% lawyer in me had half a mind to sue him for public nuisance (this inclination surely reveals why I only have a miniscule and negligible 0.1% of lawyer in me); the rest of me put on a pissed off mug and stared daggers at the offending ah-fucking-uncle in front of me.
my ears were numb from his sheer volume and choice of words. choice of words? I wonder how many rainbows did he sing out at the aunty, but looking on the bright side, i learn more vulgar language than i ever did in this lifetime.

but that isn’t the main problem.

why sue star bucks?

they didn’t control the rowdy crowd. we could have been easily mistaken for the ‘free Tibet’ movement.
i mean it was sheer pandemonium. kids running around playing hide and seek, aunty gossiping, uncles threatening each other, teenagers blasting really lousy avril lavigne .

hello kitty craze? well it was an exact replica except that we are not fighting over a fur like creature that in actual sense do look pretty hideous but what the hell.
besides the coffee tasted horrible. too much whipped cream, too milky, too sweet, too little taste, not enough caffine.

i know its free and all but hey i am a loyal customer don’t I deserve a little love?
the principle I live by is that when we give, we give unconditionally- so i kinda felt shortchanged in a sense.
thank god eugene came. i had intentions to claw the uncle behind me…

stayed over @ aldric’s last night, ate 2 high calories pizzas with mozzarella cheese toppings covered in mayonnaise cream with chunks of chicken bits and rich ham and sausage topped with a loaf of garlic bread and a couple of choco delights, i swear i have never felt so ashamed in my sinful indulgences

perhaps they should seriously legalize this whole binging thing under the abuse of human body Act.
possible penalty: reformative community sevice @ mary chia for a month. job scope: measuring other people’s fats….

i am ecstatic that ling;s back from adelaide…my true pseudo law elitist friend from the land down under, cant wait to hang out with her and stuff. and yea i will consider marrying you if i am still single @ the age of 35, but how possible is that huh? aren’t you forgetting that someone is the ladies man ….haha…and don’t you ever use the meiling thing on me…it is not going to work.

what a wonderful strange world.

i sincerely believe that we are a contradicting society.
on one hand we are encouraged to speak up and be more opinionated on national issues but we don’t perhaps due to reprisals of sorts but when a certain celeb gets on our nerves we gets so fussed up and write in to all our national tabloids condemning her ‘action’. like as if what the celeb said had any impact or serious repercussions on our national economy .
we are really a weird bunch of people.

zoe tay @ the recent star awards.
yea I agree she was a raving lunatic at times going around sprouting all sort of wiseacre jokes, hugging her co stars like she just ‘won an award syndrome’. and ranting on pregnancy which is totally out of context from the award she was presenting but isn’t she after all just doing her job-ACTING. ….
and hey in any case, she is after all advocating the government’s call to reproduce. the lady’s doing her public service! we should give her a medal! but sadly the public got upset and took offence and do what they do best- complain. this is showbiz.
to begin with why are we even taking her seriously?

another recent headliner was about a top psle student choosing to go to a neighborhood school instead of an elite school. i don’t get it.

elite schools doesn’t denote automatic success and neighborhood school doesn’t denote failure. sadly in our education context, it is the exact reversal as mentioned.
students from both camps were fierce , internet forum, emails, letters-just to prove that they are right. i am a product of a neighborhood school and i turned out fine, i mean single digits for the O’s top student in the poly and now doing a double degree in law and commerce in university., am i any different from the ‘elite’ kids? we should function as a meritocratic society, and reward our students according to their hard work.
but yet again we also shouldn’t perceive kids from the ‘better’ schools as being arrogant and spoilt brats who think they are a class above the rest.

i personally feel that our society still has some way to go before we achieve equality in status between the neighborhood and elite divide.
i feel that the neighborhood kids do get shortchanged at times due to their background and employers perception. society also do grant a certain premium to kids from the elite schools but this is naturally understandable. we are only human to be biased.
i am extremely thankful that i am given a choice to pursue my undergrad studies locally or overseas, i chose the latter. not because i am rich or anything, my parents have to make a sacrifice to send me overseas, but i guess the greater good that will come of this would be priceless and enrich me as an individual and a citizen of sg.

its late and i need to rush to church now .
my first service @ sg expo-cant wait.

ord

time flies…

2003-2004-2005-

22 dec 2005, the day I ORD.

i should be feeling overjoyed and ecstatic and over the top, don’t get me wrong i am everything as mentioned earlier except that out of a scale of 10, i would rate my excitement and synergy level a mere 6. i am not kidding, some say i am being cynical of sorts but I still cant figure out my indifferent attitude to this so called ‘important milestone’ into the next chapter of my life journey.

the cliché portrait of a well build solider in a smartly pressed NO 4 holding on to his SAR 21, with camouflage smeared all over his face and with his full battle order well strapped onto his body with his eyes full of fire and determination all ready to defend his country.

well i am certainly none of the above. in fact I am nowhere near the above description .

instead let me delete and rephrase my so-called ‘definition’ of a solider and in other words my time in the saf….

armed with my whistle and my float, i patrol the confines of the swimming pool in my air base camp decked out in my bright yellow ‘isnt it obvious’ lifeguard shirt and my dull black shorts, with my really expensive oakleys and my spf 30 banana boat sun block to shield off the harmful UV rays.

every now and than, my job scope requires me to protect the pool from the creatures of the wild (cobra, ‘komodo dragaon’, toads, cats and dogs) found lurking in the pool’s compound, my weapon of choice range from a stick, insecticides, a net and very handy the pest control number.

scrubbing of algae found in the pool is mandatory and failure to do it will result in very serious consequences meted out my the head lifeguard who i must say is very wise and experienced considering the fact that he has been doing this ‘job’ for half his life-time, or should I say all his life.

in my line of work, boredom is not an option. no doubt I have learnt a couple of skills and important life lessons, but I feel that the whole experience would have been much better if they had just posted me to mindef’s legal department as I have requested but that again is not an option.

after all that is said and done, i still consider myself lucky and very blessed to be a lifeguard. i reckon my life would be any better in the combat side.

i guess my ord began some time back… to be very precise, 22 aug 2003.


*to all my caffeine bitches, starbucks is giving away free coffee tom (08 dec 05) from 5 to 7pm. *

The Blind Man and the Elephant

Read ahead...

American poet John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887) based the following poem on a fable which was told in India many years ago.

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he;
“ ‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL:

So often in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen! "

The final farewell....

Nguyen had a final, emotional visit with his mother Kim, twin brother Khoa and lawyers on Thursday.

Nguyen was not allowed to receive a final hug from his mother or brother, but the three were allowed to hold hands for the last time.

Nguyen will be woken in his death row cell before dawn on Friday morning.

Handcuffed, he will take the short walk from his cell to the gallows, where a trapdoor will spring open at 6am (9am AEDT).

At the same moment, at Melbourne's St Ignatius Catholic Church, where Nguyen and his brother once went to school, the bell will ring out 25 times, once for every year of the dead man's life.

Within hours of the hanging, Nguyen's body will be returned to his family, and flown back to Melbourne for his funeral, expected to be held at the end of next week.

Long-time family friend Father Peter Hansen will preside over the bilingual requiem mass at Melbourne's St Patrick's Catholic Cathedral, the Daily Telegraph reported.

Nguyen's mother Kim began making funeral arrangements two weeks ago before flying to Singapore to visit her son, the paper said.

Ninety minutes after the dawn execution, Nguyen's body will be collected from Changi Prison. - Yahoo News AU Dec 02 2005, Friday, 12.35am


COMMENTS: -

I have come to terms that nothing is going to stop the government from hanging this man. Even though I still do not fully agree with the state’s decision, I do understand that the rule of law is absolute and should be upheld. I am utterly disappointed but not surprised.

Once again I would like to restate my personal opposition to the capital punishment and my hope that it would be abolished in the state one day. The basis overwhelmingly of my opposition to capital punishment is recognition that the law is not infallible, it can make mistakes. How than can we be absolutely sure when we sentence an individual to death?

In a sense, I am only human to be more affected by Nguyen's case due to the simple reason that this guy has shown remorse and has shown great progress to a complete transformation according to his prison wardens and supervisors. Why than are we executing someone totally capable to rehabilitated?

Secondly, if the state is dead-set in executing him, why than imprisoned him for a period of 2 years before meting out the sentence? Why are we giving him dual punishment for his crime? Where is the fairness? In this case scenario, the punishment is certainly disproportionate to the crime.

Obviously as a human being, you can't help but feel more strongly about particular cases than you do about others. I mean obviously if Saddam Hussein is sentenced to death, I don't know that I'm going to think the same about that as I've thought about Van Nguyen. Now people say that's hypocritical - no it's not hypocritical, it's just human.

However what I cannot comprehend and understand is this nation’s ‘clinical" response to the pleas by the mother of Nguyen Tuong Van to hug her son for a last time before his execution. I am disappointed that the government decided not to grant mother and son a final hug. Is this something really very hard to ask for? Where is the compassion? Is it really true we are without a heart? Do we rule with an iron-fist?

Apparently the prison ministry offered an official statement that the prison has a general policy not to allow any physical contact between criminals and loved ones before hanging. But in this special case, they are allowing a small concession for Nguyen and Mum to hold hands before he is hanged. Honestly I think this is dumb and ridiculous.

‘Like many jurisdiction that authorize capital punishment, Singapore does not allow ‘contact’ visits between prisoners and family members. Such encounters can be traumatic and are likely to destablise the prisoners and their family members,’ the ministry noted to the media.

How can we remotely explain the logic of this reasoning? It sounds so impersonal that I feel that this is a computer generated response. Even a computer has feelings and knows how to rearrange its format and font size and style to reflect the somberness of the occasion but sadly I don’t see that coming from the state.

Don’t even bring me there…I sympathize with the mom right this moment the pain and anguish that she is suffering is something that I will never understand but what I do know is that 25 years of bringing up my son, raising, feeding, caring and loving him, and not even a final goodbye hug.

In response to our state’s reply, this is what I have got to say. I think that Nguyen’s mom will suffer even more emotional distress from not having the peace in her heart that she has given her son a proper final farewell. She will be crying for years and feeling sad and dejected in her heart that she is not able to have physical contact with her son for a very last time.

Is it just me or do all of you sense an injustice sufficing here? Talk about compassion and human dignity. I don’t know where to begin and where to end.

I am saddened.

I don’t wish to comment anymore…..


"Violence as a way of achieving justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding. It seeks to annihilate rather than to convert." - Martin Luther King, Jr.