things you will do for a free coffee.

i am this close to suing starbucks for emotional trauma and distress…
let me explain
i was queuing up last thursday for my free cuppa when an uncle right behind me literally screamed into my ears. apparently he was trying to ‘size up’ an old aunty a few spaces in front of me for queue hopping.

in case you start thinking dirty and stuff, his ‘sizing up’ involves a lot of gestures and brickbats being exchanged. scientific studies shown that continuous exposure to sound above 80 decibels could do harmful damage to one’s ears. i swear that is true.

i looked around, extremely annoyed that I had to subject myself to such torturous verbal abuse, looking for the culprit when my eyes landed on ‘it’ (and calling him that? giving way too much credit) in front of me. Slippers and a typical ‘fake’ Ralph Lauren shirt. This uncle is seriously doing too much damage to the brand. The too obvious pasar malam 3 for 10 dollars crap. I was not surprised that the uncle don’t even know how to pronounce the fucking brand. ‘…laugh lauren…’ I swear my kiddo cousins can get that right…

The 0.1% lawyer in me had half a mind to sue him for public nuisance (this inclination surely reveals why I only have a miniscule and negligible 0.1% of lawyer in me); the rest of me put on a pissed off mug and stared daggers at the offending ah-fucking-uncle in front of me.
my ears were numb from his sheer volume and choice of words. choice of words? I wonder how many rainbows did he sing out at the aunty, but looking on the bright side, i learn more vulgar language than i ever did in this lifetime.

but that isn’t the main problem.

why sue star bucks?

they didn’t control the rowdy crowd. we could have been easily mistaken for the ‘free Tibet’ movement.
i mean it was sheer pandemonium. kids running around playing hide and seek, aunty gossiping, uncles threatening each other, teenagers blasting really lousy avril lavigne .

hello kitty craze? well it was an exact replica except that we are not fighting over a fur like creature that in actual sense do look pretty hideous but what the hell.
besides the coffee tasted horrible. too much whipped cream, too milky, too sweet, too little taste, not enough caffine.

i know its free and all but hey i am a loyal customer don’t I deserve a little love?
the principle I live by is that when we give, we give unconditionally- so i kinda felt shortchanged in a sense.
thank god eugene came. i had intentions to claw the uncle behind me…

stayed over @ aldric’s last night, ate 2 high calories pizzas with mozzarella cheese toppings covered in mayonnaise cream with chunks of chicken bits and rich ham and sausage topped with a loaf of garlic bread and a couple of choco delights, i swear i have never felt so ashamed in my sinful indulgences

perhaps they should seriously legalize this whole binging thing under the abuse of human body Act.
possible penalty: reformative community sevice @ mary chia for a month. job scope: measuring other people’s fats….

i am ecstatic that ling;s back from adelaide…my true pseudo law elitist friend from the land down under, cant wait to hang out with her and stuff. and yea i will consider marrying you if i am still single @ the age of 35, but how possible is that huh? aren’t you forgetting that someone is the ladies man ….haha…and don’t you ever use the meiling thing on me…it is not going to work.