life is unfair and dont you dare deny it!

Darn. NUS Law has send me another letter asking me to go sit for an interview and written test and by now I am getting pretty sick playing this hide and seek game with the law faculty. I can still remember the horrific experience with our dear Ms Leong last year and my disappointment and anguish about not making the cut to law and bitching and whining to every person within close proximity on how much I despise the faculty, but the honest truth was that I truly did gave a shit that my heart really desired only 1 thing and that is to get into NUS. Fast forward 1 year later, I am now doing a double degree in Law and Accountancy in the University of Sydney. I can only describe my situation as messy and complex because I have grown to love and admire and respect the law faculty here and the fact that Sydney University Law faculty is indeed the premier law school in Australia makes me even more privileged and honored to be studying with the top brains of NSW and of the state. The workload I am facing is equally impressive. I have never been so stressed struggling to keep up with my entire work load and I am barely keeping my head afloat in such intense and keen competition. Being with the elites do raise your standard, if you even have 1 to begin with. I hate being with very best. It makes me feel so small and insignificant. Maybe my long lost dream of majoring in ancient art and history aint that bad afterall. I need to have my creativity back again. I am so trapped in this whole academic rat race right now. Transferring back obviously wont solve my problem but at least it doesn’t seem that bad of an option since I am already suffering so much here? I guess doing a single law degree back home would be so much easier compared to the double degree I am undertaking now. I really don’t know what I should do. Perhaps I shouldn’t even do law. My parents were right, I should have just do mass communications @ NTU and be some gossip columnist which by the way I am very good at. I need some psycho analysis all over again…