mission impossible?

Imagine studying 5 chapters in 4 hours for an online quiz…I am attempting the impossible. I guess it’s very thrilling but yet at the same time, I am breaking out in cold sweat and occasional nervous laughter over my obvious stupidity in leaving everything to the last minute. My testbooks is filled with highlighted stuff which obviously dosent make sense when you start highlighting the authors name at the start of each chapter. I need help! And it’s not like as if this subject is something I have an underlying passion for, Management accounting is one of those few subjects you just want to get it over and done with. Seriously I don’t give a shit to this entire contribution margin, break even, budgets, PQ= (AP-SP), full of equations crap… I need milk. I want to drink milk all of a sudden …. I am really going nuts…

I can do it because I believe in someone far greater than me.

I want my life to be an adventure and not some sort of repeat telecast where everything is so mundane and predictable. God placed me in Sydney for a far greater purpose and even though I may be unsure of his plans for me, I believe that he will accomplish bigger, greater and better things in my life. I may be down but I am never out.

I am very encouraged by Nat’s advice today; he told me that I can do it because he believed in me. Sometimes knowing that someone believes in you is a great feeling, knowing that your friends care and believe in you lifts your spirits. I was reading some of my goodbye notes and my belated birthday card, and I am really encouraged by all these words of affirmation and uplifting. I realized that sometimes in life, we get so blinded by the bad things, it forms a veil over our eyes causing us to view things negatively. I want the veil to be lifted so that I can see the good and positive things God has in store for me.

Even if I dont get into NUS, all things are still good cause its Gods will in my life, and I will trust and obey his word...Study hard for FINA quiz tom

I am sitting here in my room, unsure and unknown about what God has in store for me. I really have no mood to study anymore and I feel like I am lacking some direction in my life. I know that God has a mighty plan for me that’s why he send me to Sydney in the first place but as I am sitting here now all unmotivated and stuff, I am really LOST and starting to feel a little displaced. Why am I sitting here doing something I absolutely have no interest in? Why did I pick accounting? How do I prepare the freaking journal entries? What should I do? Should I just sleep and forget about it, but I have 2 quizzes next week? I can complain and bitch but nothing can be done to change my situation. I should suck it up and just do it for the time being unless God provides another alternative some time soon…I will be still and know you are God…

i love u mum, mother's day rest eternally in my heart....

you are the most beautiful woman in the world...

forget and move on...

Why am I feeling so lousy? The interview went horribly. As usual, I tripped over my words, dug my own grave when I opened a can of worms and talked about ‘freedom of speech’ and the fact is that Australia values freedom of speech more than Singapore and tripped over again when I said that Singapore should have more freedom of speech and admitted half way through the interview that Australia freedom of speech is a false ‘pretense’ and back to square 1, Singapore is no different from Australia. The feeling is shooting yourself with a bullet, which ricochet off you and come at you again, and again and again. Why do ‘they’ have to be so mean? What’s up with them hounding on the fact that I was rejected by NUS last year? Does it add to their satisfaction if they hear it from my mouth? Why can’t they just ask me easy questions like how’s life in Australia? How’s the campus culture over there? Why can’t they just ask me about my hobbies? I thought they would make my life easier because of the fact that I am already a law student and not a freakish amateur who can’t tell the difference between obiter dicta and ratio decedendi. They cut me off after 10 minutes and said that have someone else waiting outside and there go my f!@#$ing chance. All the stuff I prepared never came to past. I wanted to talk abt the federal system in Australia, I wanted to talk about separation of power, I wanted to talk about Australia’s stance on the iraq war, I wanted to talk about the constitutional monarchy, all I did was to talk about ‘freedom of speech’ which is so controversial, I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all. But 1 thing he did mentioned was that Sydney is indeed a reputable law school and I think I will claim that and just carry on living my life. This is like an exact same thing that happened to me, except that my I felt so much more confident the last time round. Still remembering the fact that they shot me down right at the start of the interview, they obviously knew that I was rejected my NUS law last year and they HAD to just bring it back and rubbed it in my face. I had a better time at the essay bullshitting about mens reas and actus reas and the whole thing about ‘reasonable man’ test and the subjective notion of intent. I was just babbling everything I knew because I really can’t be bothered anymore. I think I better start studying for my mid terms ….

The cell celebrated my birthday yesterday and I am kinda touched. I mean honestly, I hate being reminded that I am a year older in fact I’m dreading my next birthday, it’s a constant reminder that I am aging rapidly and I wish I could turn back my biological clock and be 12 again. Oh the wonderful feeling to be young. But I was really shocked when 1 of my cell mates actually revealed a word to nat yesterday; I mean it was something extraordinary. I knew it was a word from God because I am one of the privileged few that know Nat’s plans and I was really happy that the encouragement came at such good timing. I know this may sound silly but as that sister spoke, I actually felt the impact of the words. It was so clear and definite, and its a sure indicator it was from the Lord. The Lord is indeed please with you, Nat.

This led me to start thinking. What do I want to achieve in my connect group? I mean the purpose must be established so that we can work towards it. And after much thinking, I realised that I want to be a blessing to others; I want to be able to receive word from God so that I can uplift my brothers and sisters too. I am praying to God to start by transforming my life first because how can God use me when my life is still in a mess? I woke up in tears this morning partially because I am really starting to feel the stress of university but I really felt the Holy Spirit telling me to come back to God again.

I have drifted away from God like for a couple of weeks now but God is always calling out to me to return. Last week, the same thing happen to me when I suddenly for no apparent reason just broke down and cried, it was very unexpected. It just happened. I am really starting to be stretched but I know that it’s in this period of trials and testing that tests my spiritual growth and foundations in God. I can fail the world but I cannot fail God, without him im done….

Have to study, going to meet nat and ying later….

whatsup!

Okie I am in the midst of finishing up my man A project and I would like to comment on some interesting observations on the elections 2 days ago which apparently was also my birthday, wonder whether the men in white will consider granting me more EPS or ERS shares considering that my birthday fell on such a ‘historic day in Singapore history’, I shall continue:

(i) WP Low Thia Kiang managed to retain his Hougang seat despite the men in white desperate attempt in dangling their $100 million upgrading package in front of the voters face. Low did not only retain his seat but increased his percentage of shares up to 66% which undoubtedly is the best performer among all the opposition. Conclusion: my fellow countrymen can think after all. I have to give credit when it’s due.

(ii) Surprisingly AMK was the biggest jaw dropper of the night. I was quite surprised by the performance of our PM in his constituency. Logically I would have expected a higher percentage of votes simply because PM is running for it and naturally this would also be an indicator of the people’s confidence in his leadership. But horror of horrors was that they managed only 60 plus percentages of votes as compared to a relatively ‘unknown’ team from WP. I wonder what will actually happen if they actually lost AMK? Would PM be stripped of his post?? I can’t imagine what the consequences will be?

(iii) The media’s obvious biasness to a certain political party. Take a glimpse in Channel News Asia website and you will be bombarded by a certain political party news and information. The win by the opposition was accentuated in such small fonts that I had to double search before I found the link to that particular site. Besides that, words used to describe PAP win range from ‘PAP won opposition with wide margin’ but when it came to the oppositions percentage increase of votes from last elections, the phrase used was something along the lines of a ‘slight increase’ -even the percentage was well over 10.

(iv) WP performance in Aljunied GRC. I must say that the hot spot of Singapore elections this year was in this particular constituency. This was a true test of the government’s mandate from the people. I am satisfied that despite all the carrot dangling and visits from certain important political figures, the opposition still managed a 44 percent of overall votes. The slight win of 6 percent goes to show that the people can think after all.(refer to point 1) and that people still wants a balanced representation in parliament.


Okie enough for today, I will carry on part 2 later.

the right to respond....

I have given up on democracy a zillion years ago. I have no bloody idea what this term is, no remote understanding anymore. All I am concerned with is that the economy is doing well, low crime rate and last but not least more goodies from the Government again. I totally understand why young Singaporeans have no interest in politics back home, it’s not lack of political apathy or whatsoever, it’s the notion and the pre conceived notion that we will never achieve the ideals so why even bother in the first place.

The coming elections will be so predictable, I have already made some stakes in some hotly contested constituencies, but nevertheless I laud the opposition for their effort and I guess my fellow countrymen should stop whining that we have lousy opposition because I think the opposition do have pretty astonishing credentials and the very fact that many of them are willing to sacrifice their high paying jobs and professions is already remarkable but yet ‘stupid’ as some Singaporeans would say at the same time, I respect their quest for providing an alternative ‘voice’ in the government and their goal to provide check and balances on parliament but yet whilst saying that, I have to say that they have a tough job ahead. Their major obstacle I would say is not the men in white rather it’s gaining the peoples trust. And as a passing comment, the opposition should seriously consider abolishing national service as part of their manifesto for I know with all my heart, a lot of disgruntled young Singaporean males will respond favorably.

The fire for the whole concept of democracy was reignited in law seminar today when the topic came up for discussion. I seriously think that Australia has no right to criticize their neighbors for the lack of democracy when their whole system is a ruckus and a mockery to the notion of rule of law. Just take a look at the whole anti-terrorism bill proposed by the Howard government some time back, the right to preventive detention and control orders to limit people whom the government ‘suspects of having terrorist intentions undermine the whole concept of equal protection before the law. And what’s up with the fact that someone who is under control orders for terrorism activities do not have the right to know what they are detained for and the onus is on them to prove otherwise.

That’s just plain idiotic, can u imagine what such acts will lead to?? This will lead to a tyranny and corrupt government. The argument that the greater good for the protection of society as a whole should take precedence, I beg to differ because we will be undermining ones constitutional rights and liberties as a trade off. We shouldn’t use democracy as a reason to prevent terror more so we should complement democracy at every stage possible to fight terror. Besides we should not sacrifice the good image and reputation Australia has build over the years for our human rights law just to prevent the terrors from acting. In a sense, we will be ‘losing’ the fight against terror for we are giving them the upper hand and letting them know we are afraid of them instead we should continue our lives as per normal and not resort to these bastards scare tactics and come up with so much unnecessary preventive measures which I see as a waste of resources and time.

Don’t even get me started on aboriginal people and their rights, Australia still has a long way to go. I mean democracy is such a far reaching arm that we can never really achieve ‘true’ democracy in any given state or legal institution. There must always be a fair balance, but in my opinion the ‘rule of law’ must always be respected and upheld in all situations possible even if there may be a conflict in potential circumstances, we should never use the rule of law as a trade off because once we do so, we will be setting a precedence for the future. Oh man, I wasted too much time on my ramblings, time to study…

duty to assist...

The last 2 days have been nothing but sheer misery. First up was the dreaded case law assignment which I struggled with, I am still undecided whether I hate the judge for writing such long and lengthy judgments or the fact that our lectures make us go through such uninteresting and boring cases . Oh the lesser of 2 evils! Broughton is basically about some idiot, who went into hungry jacks and sought help from the security guard, but the guard refused to assist and threw the plaintiff out and now the plaintiff is suing the owner of premise and security guard for negligence. Logically speaking, I agree with the judges that the defendant do not owe the plaintiff any duty to assist simply because according to Hart’s theory, he explains that law and morality are not interchangeable terms. A rule of law may be morally iniquitous, but it is still law; one may not impugn its validity solely on the ground of its lack of morality. Secondly is that if the judge were to change a rule of law according to ‘community values’, he will therefore be opening a legal floodgate of other claims ranging from earliest possible date. I do not therefore think it’s wise for the learned judge to change the rule. But who am I to say? I am only a first year law student struggling through law school, who still can’t tell the difference between ratio and obiter dicta. The accounting quiz also did not help to bring me out of my misery. This is the first time in my life where I find MCQs hard. Screw it. Is hungry jacks looking to hire? Oh yea, nat and ying got baptized last Sunday, wohoo love you guys to bits….