exams are round the corner !
I am in the middle of a fuck crisis. My OS system is in a middle of recollection data for the exams. I am so going to be crucified in the exams. I even dreamt of Kristin my crim law tutor nailing my hands to the Crimes Act and asking me the facts of Falconer and Tolmie. Going to class and pretending to know a bit when in actual fact I know nuts and trying to catch up on my readings is a thing of the past. I can’t seem to muster enough knowledge to recite important sections from the crimes act and I still can’t differentiate between murder and manslaughter. Someone ask me before which is the lesser of 2 evils and I have the cheek to say murder. I am such a disgrace to all law students but I can’t be bothered. I am more worried for the finals which I can’t afford to do badly and its time for divine interventions to help me spot the right questions again. Religion is about consistency but hell I need him right now! I can’t afford to do CRIM again for the fear of insanity and undue depression which might amount to a recognised psychiatric illness which could be claimed under legislation laws. Well to test my knowledge, in the event of death, my parents and siblings could claim damages under the compensation for Relatives Act or s3(1) of the Law Reforms (Misc Provisions) Act 1944. Which reminds me to visit the local pharmacy for my dosage of sleeping pills? Desperate times call for separate measures dude.
exams are round the corner !
I am in the middle of a fuck crisis. My OS system is in a middle of recollection data for the exams. I am so going to be crucified in the exams. I even dreamt of Kristin my crim law tutor nailing my hands to the Crimes Act and asking me the facts of Falconer and Tolmie. Going to class and pretending to know a bit when in actual fact I know nuts and trying to catch up on my readings is a thing of the past. I can’t seem to muster enough knowledge to recite important sections from the crimes act and I still can’t differentiate between murder and manslaughter. Someone ask me before which is the lesser of 2 evils and I have the cheek to say murder. I am such a disgrace to all law students but I can’t be bothered. I am more worried for the finals which I can’t afford to do badly and its time for divine interventions to help me spot the right questions again. Religion is about consistency but hell I need him right now! I can’t afford to do CRIM again for the fear of insanity and undue depression which might amount to a recognised psychiatric illness which could be claimed under legislation laws. Well to test my knowledge, in the event of death, my parents and siblings could claim damages under the compensation for Relatives Act or s3(1) of the Law Reforms (Misc Provisions) Act 1944. Which reminds me to visit the local pharmacy for my dosage of sleeping pills? Desperate times call for separate measures dude.
exams are round the corner !
I am in the middle of a fuck crisis. My OS system is in a middle of recollection data for the exams. I am so going to be crucified in the exams. I even dreamt of Kristin my crim law tutor nailing my hands to the Crimes Act and asking me the facts of Falconer and Tolmie. Going to class and pretending to know a bit when in actual fact I know nuts and trying to catch up on my readings is a thing of the past. I can’t seem to muster enough knowledge to recite important sections from the crimes act and I still can’t differentiate between murder and manslaughter. Someone ask me before which is the lesser of 2 evils and I have the cheek to say murder. I am such a disgrace to all law students but I can’t be bothered. I am more worried for the finals which I can’t afford to do badly and its time for divine interventions to help me spot the right questions again. Religion is about consistency but hell I need him right now! I can’t afford to do CRIM again for the fear of insanity and undue depression which might amount to a recognised psychiatric illness which could be claimed under legislation laws. Well to test my knowledge, in the event of death, my parents and siblings could claim damages under the compensation for Relatives Act or s3(1) of the Law Reforms (Misc Provisions) Act 1944. Which reminds me to visit the local pharmacy for my dosage of sleeping pills? Desperate times call for separate measures dude.
exams are round the corner !
I am in the middle of a fuck crisis. My OS system is in a middle of recollection data for the exams. I am so going to be crucified in the exams. I even dreamt of Kristin my crim law tutor nailing my hands to the Crimes Act and asking me the facts of Falconer and Tolmie. Going to class and pretending to know a bit when in actual fact I know nuts and trying to catch up on my readings is a thing of the past. I can’t seem to muster enough knowledge to recite important sections from the crimes act and I still can’t differentiate between murder and manslaughter. Someone ask me before which is the lesser of 2 evils and I have the cheek to say murder. I am such a disgrace to all law students but I can’t be bothered. I am more worried for the finals which I can’t afford to do badly and its time for divine interventions to help me spot the right questions again. Religion is about consistency but hell I need him right now! I can’t afford to do CRIM again for the fear of insanity and undue depression which might amount to a recognised psychiatric illness which could be claimed under legislation laws. Well to test my knowledge, in the event of death, my parents and siblings could claim damages under the compensation for Relatives Act or s3(1) of the Law Reforms (Misc Provisions) Act 1944. Which reminds me to visit the local pharmacy for my dosage of sleeping pills? Desperate times call for separate measures dude.
exams are round the corner dude!
I am in the middle of a fuck crisis. My OS system is in a middle of recollection data for the exams. I am so going to be crucified in the exams. I even dreamt of Kristin my crim law tutor nailing my hands to the Crimes Act and asking me the facts of Falconer and Tolmie. Going to class and pretending to know a bit when in actual fact I know nuts and trying to catch up on my readings is a thing of the past. I can’t seem to muster enough knowledge to recite important sections from the crimes act and I still can’t differentiate between murder and manslaughter. Someone ask me before which is the lesser of 2 evils and I have the cheek to say murder. I am such a disgrace to all law students but I can’t be bothered. I am more worried for the finals which I can’t afford to do badly and its time for divine interventions to help me spot the right questions again. Religion is about consistency but hell I need him right now! I can’t afford to do CRIM again for the fear of insanity and undue depression which might amount to a recognised psychiatric illness which could be claimed under legislation laws. Well to test my knowledge, in the event of death, my parents and siblings could claim damages under the compensation for Relatives Act or s3(1) of the Law Reforms (Misc Provisions) Act 1944. Which reminds me to visit the local pharmacy for my dosage of sleeping pills? Desperate times call for separate measures dude.
exams are round the corner dude!
I am in the middle of a fuck crisis. My OS system is in a middle of recollection data for the exams. I am so going to be crucified in the exams. I even dreamt of Kristin my crim law tutor nailing my hands to the Crimes Act and asking me the facts of Falconer and Tolmie. Going to class and pretending to know a bit when in actual fact I know nuts and trying to catch up on my readings is a thing of the past. I can’t seem to muster enough knowledge to recite important sections from the crimes act and I still can’t differentiate between murder and manslaughter. Someone ask me before which is the lesser of 2 evils and I have the cheek to say murder. I am such a disgrace to all law students but I can’t be bothered. I am more worried for the finals which I can’t afford to do badly and its time for divine interventions to help me spot the right questions again. Religion is about consistency but hell I need him right now! I can’t afford to do CRIM again for the fear of insanity and undue depression which might amount to a recognised psychiatric illness which could be claimed under legislation laws. Well to test my knowledge, in the event of death, my parents and siblings could claim damages under the compensation for Relatives Act or s3(1) of the Law Reforms (Misc Provisions) Act 1944. Which reminds me to visit the local pharmacy for my dosage of sleeping pills? Desperate times call for separate measures dude.
in a nutshell..
This semester has been such a rush and I am starting to feel sick in my stomach. My exam is in 4 weeks time and I have to start catching up on heaps of law readings which I have deserted over the past weeks due to the dramatic change of events in my life. Studying law is indeed the biggest mistake I ever make in my life. I’m too lazy to qualify as a law student. The amount of work that I have put in thus far will make any reasonable law student petrified and anxious. Believe me the coming exams will lead me to sleepless nights all over again. Shit, law is disgusting. I am seriously starting to question the basic rationale of law. We don’t need lawyers all we need are law abiding citizens with a conscious awareness of themselves and society. Yet again I am seriously kidding myself when I say we don’t need lawyers, I will put millions of lawyers all over the world out of a job. Maybe we should all join union and have something to live for, less work more pay. Wasted my afternoon at NUS law school listening to such a boring lecture on evidence.. It’s a wonder to me why there is even a law school in the republic considering that the lecture seemed to be nothing but full of the government’s policy. It seems so robotic; the students remain expressionless as they type furiously away on their laptops and mind you copying word for word what the lecturer was saying. My jaw dropped when the professor started rattling on about a constitution in Singapore and how human rights are enshrined in that book. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THAT A CONSTITUTION EXISTS IN SG!!!!!!! We are all in no position to be talking about human rights when we are abusing the whole bloody notion of that subject. Sometimes we need to see things in perspective and I’m glad that the younger generation in Singapore are rising to the occasion. The younger generation will indeed make a difference to the Republic.
It’s easier to lead a lie and be the person we have always dreamt ourselves to be than to be the REAL US- OPRAH. The sad truth is that I have been living a lie. I always believe if I did this or had that or be such a person, I will be happy! But the question is am I really happy? I always did things or make things appear all nice on the surface, but all these things I have created are all an illusion. The fact of matter was that I wasn’t satisfied with the things that I have. I was always searching for something that NEVER existed. It’s like chasing after the wind, where the search is always ongoing. You will never be contented, why not be yourself?
a new day!
There are just too many ‘broken’ people in this world and I’m not doing enough. The reason why I am not doing enough is because I am ‘broken’ myself. But it’s always the once ‘broken’ people who can make a difference with their testimony. I need to learn to stay true to who I really am, and with that being said means no more false pretence and lies because if I can’t handle the truth now, it’s going to be more painful and treacherous as I continue this journey. I am not perfect but I can strive towards being the person I always wanted myself to be and that is to be happy with who I am and what I represent. If I don’t love myself, nobody will! Emptiness is nothing but an illusion. I have signed up to be a volunteer to help HIV + people in Sydney. I don’t know whether I can remain committed but I know that I have to start somewhere and that is learning to give back to society. I will officially start my training this November. I don’t think I am doing it because I feel like I need to do something good to repay for all the bad things I have done because God has already done that or for my own self benefit to get myself over my oast addictions or for self gratification knowing that it will appease my morals. I am doing it because I want to do it. I am doing it because I really feel that I can make a difference. There’s a part of me that says that I will fail but fuck you. How you know I will fail when I haven’t even started? Doesn’t fucking judge me! I know I will succeed because I have someone far greater than anyone on this earth by my side. He has been teaching me the lesson of humility every day. I am not as smart or as good looking or as street savvy or as kind hearted as what I think of myself to be. That’s honestly. But I am learning to live life to the fullest every day because I’m tired of all the lies Satan is feeding me. Fuck all the lies cause I am tired. When I fall I pick myself up and run again. The journey is long but we have to press on and I can’t give up. I really Cant.!
Life is getting better!
I just tuned in to Oprah and my spirit was touched. “God has greater things in store for you, if you just believe…” The topic for the day was about courage. I guess the story that spoke to me was about the guy who has a speech therapy problem, and he was ostracized by society and shunned by his mates. However he went on to fulfil his dream to become a teacher who inspires others. Despite numerous rejections he strived on to become the teacher he always wanted and to be an inspiration to many others in the world. And he went on to become teacher of the year for his efforts. I am tired of living my life the way it is now, I really am. Seeing stories of others who overcame so much difficulties and having the courage and faith to live life to the fullest is such an inspiration.
People always ask me what do I wan to be when I grow up? I never really have no answer because I definitely don’t want to be rich and famous, status doesn’t make me a fulfilled person neither being all powerful and stuff will ever make me happy. I am really a very simple guy who only desires to be happy in life. Sometimes I tell myself, I don’t care whether my parents give me an allowance or anything, I really just want them to be with me and spend quality time with me. I grew up in a very lonely home where my parents were not there for me often, but I never ever blamed them because I know they did what they have to do to make this family a better place to live in. But sometimes I just want them to know that what I really want is to be with them. When I was growing up, I was a loner and isolated by everyone else and that made me even lonelier than before, turning to all the wrong things and when I look back I realised that I was searching for all the wrong things to fill this void. I used to think that I was the most unlucky person in this whole world, but I fail to see the numerous other people who are having a far worse life than me.
I have always had a self esteem issue. I always felt that I was not as good as so and so and I always felt that I was ugly and stupid and stuff like that. But over the years I have grown to realise that sometimes it’s really not what is on the exterior but what’s on the inside that matters. Its better to be humble rather than an arrogant bitch because God blesses the humble and opposes the proud. I want to wake up every morning feeling happy and at peace with God, I am tired of waking up and not having a clue what I am going to do. I am tired, I know that I am not the best human on earth but at least if I try, there’s still a 99 percent chance I will recover rather than not trying. I am currently struggling with some addictions with my past and etc, but I AM NOT GIVING UP ! cause I am worth much more than I can ever imagine and God has so much in store if only I learn to tap on his blessings. When there’s hope there’s a will!
Its time to pick up the sword and start the battle again.
